Transitions

I am in a transition state that I am sure is necessary, but hard to get used to. The transition from being an active, healthy, involved Grandma to learning how to "act my age" and be a far less active senior!!  I cannot expect to continue to run with the active crowd forever, and the event that has made me have to look at myself differently is the "operation" the Dr. insisted was necessary (a bladder prolapse operation to be more specific--as if everyone needs to know THAT!)

I have felt and acted like an entirely different person ever since getting home from the hospital on February 3rd, ..for a couple of reasons. First, the doctor gave me orders to "take it easy " for six weeks and explained if I wanted the operation to be permanent I must get plenty of rest, not lift anything over 5 lbs, and generally be very careful. Second,  I seem to have lost the motivation to be an "active" senior anyway. Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I was fed up with being on the run all the time because I have always preferred to be at home, but could never justify doing it. And now this is the first time in my life someone has given me permission to "take it easy"!!!  Interestingly enough, my energy level is such that I haven't felt  up to doing much of anything anyway, so it wasn't hard to follow those orders.  I have done things I have NEVER done before, such as sleep in until 9:00 a.m., stay in my nightclothes all day, and even stay in bed most of several days, listen to books on tape for hours on end, and do almost no housework for two weeks--unheard of!!

I was just starting to feel a little bit like my old self, and I got an infection  (the bugaboo of ANY operation) and that really was a set back. That was almost two weeks ago, and I still feel weak and funny and need lots of sleep. I have to admit that I have enjoyed all those things I have been doing. The thing I didn't expect  was how lonely I would feel sometimes. I have felt cut off from the world, and especially from family. I quickly discovered, however, that I don't need to feel lonely. All I have to do is reach out by e-mail or phone to my children or grandchildren and they respond and those "out of touch"  feelings are not valid anymore.

Now, I am starting to think this was all part of re-training my thinking so I can accept the fact that I CAN take it easy a lot more and that it is okay to do that. I have the feeling this transition was past due, and as I said, is probably necessary because my body is not willing to keep up with the schedule of a 50 year old anymore--so I will celebrate this change of lifestyle from active to "less-active" and begin to enjoy a slower pace of life without feeling guilty or inadequate!  

Viva la slow down!!!